After The Catch: The Fit Hits The Shan
by wildviolet76
Summary: Ever wonder what our favorite guys would think if they ever found our stories?...*Deadliest Catch*


**_Ahhh Twitter, what would we do without your plot bunnies?_**

**_Disclaimer: I OWN NO ONE, I HAVE NO MONEY. And sadly I make no money by writing this story…_**

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><p>"Where the hell are those to fuck ups?" ranted Johnathan Hillstrand to both his brother Andy and Northwestern captain Sig Hansen.<p>

"With those three? No telling," replied Sig taking a sip of the vodka sweating in his hand. "There's Ed, let see if he knows." He turned in his seat and yelled out, "HEY EDGAR! YOU SEEN ANY OF THE BOYS?"

Edgar rolled his eyes and strolled over, "Didn't your mother ever tell you to use and inside voice? Oh wait, yes she did, I was there," he rolled his eyes. "And no I haven't seen them since last night, why?"

"They're late, as usual," said John crossly, signaling the waitress for a refill.

Andy's roving gaze landed on the door as the three deckhands walked in laughing like there was no tomorrow, "Speak of the devils now…"

Josh, Scotty H, and Jake Anderson made their way over to the captain's table and sat down. "You're late," spat Sig. "And why the fuck are you packing your laptop with you Junior? You going all yuppie on us now?"

The boys all looked at each and broke out laughing again. Scotty schooled his expression and looked at Andy, "Can I ask you a personal question?" he asked solemnly.

Andy looked back, confused by the quick mood shift, "Uh, sure?"

Scott's mischievous Hillstrand eyes twinkled and his mouth quirked slightly, "Uncle Andy, just how long IS your schlong?" He'd held it together as long as he could and doubled over in laughter. Seeing the shocked faces of the men around them Josh and Jake began choking as they laughed, falling out of their chairs.

"Are you three high?" demanded Edgar.

Josh nudged Jake and nodded at Edgar, "Grumpy ol' deck boss…" The snickering began again.

Andy crossed his arms, "You had better let us in on the joke, or we're cutting you off before you even start drinking tonight."

Josh grinned, "Well ya see, we were all bored and someone decided to Google themselves. You know for shits and grins."

Scotty coughed into his hand, "It was Josh." Earning himself a glare from Josh who continued, "ANYWAYS, what we found was veeery interesting. Show the men Jake."

Jake opened his laptop and booted the thing up. Pulling up his internet browser he clicked on favorites and pulled up the Deadliest Catch community page on Fan Fiction.

John squinted at the screen, "What is all that?"

"That oh, capitan, is over two hundred fan written stories…"informed Josh

"About us," finished Jake.

Scotty, "By our female fans…"

"What you mean like love stories?" Sig said love like it made him physically ill to say the word.

Josh batted his thick lashes and laughed, "Love he says. I'd go with raunchy, but that's a bit harsh."

That grabbed Andy's attention, "What? You mean like sex stories?"

Scott laughed, "Like Penthouse should hire these ladies to write for them!" He pointed at Andy, "Because you apparently are hung like a horse and must be a UPS man considering the package you're carrying." Then at John, "You…dude, you get much rougher and your ass is gonna be in the big house with a roommate named Bubba."

Josh laughed at Sig, "Man you got some skill, or are pervert, haven't decided which. Tapping eighteen year olds at your age…"

Jake smirked at Edgar, who was laughing at Sig's discomfort, "And you seem to be the kinky one out of the bunch. What with your Princess Leia slave girl fetish. Tying that woman up and breaking out the anal lube," he tutted while shaking his head.

"Excuse me?" sputtered Edgar choking on his Coke and spraying his seatmates.

"Say it, don't spray it Edgar," teased John.

"I'm telling you! The site is full of stories about us getting our freaks on with all these damn fine women!" said Josh, sitting back amazement on his face.

The waitress made her way back to the area and John flagged her attention, "Another round hon?" she asked with a purr.

"Nah, sweetheart, check please," flirted John. The guy all looked at him, "All I got is this," he held up his iphone, "Gotta be a Wal-mart around here. Open twenty four hours a day. Gonna get me laptop; I'm checking this shit out. Write that address, link thingy down for me Jake." John looked around the table at his friends, "Y'all coming or staying?"

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><p><em>I know, I know, I've got way too many stories open right now. But I couldn't resist getting in on this when the topic came up. Don't worry; the other stories are still being worked on too!<em>

_And so you know, I'm cackling like a loon while I'm writing this!_


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